but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
