Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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