FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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