Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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