the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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