its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
