I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize