omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
