I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
