There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
