Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
