Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
