Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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