So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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