just tell him i said nine months
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
