Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
