Plan B is the new Plan A
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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