HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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