do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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