Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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