They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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