like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
