Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
