I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
