i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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