Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize