Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
