Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize