Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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