Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Let's get the cat blown out
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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