She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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