i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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