Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it glows. i had to have it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
