He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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