youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
