insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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