:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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