Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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