I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
