I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize