:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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