Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
