Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
