how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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