I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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