she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
