It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
