Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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