Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
