I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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