whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
