i just google imaged poop.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
