I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
