How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
