Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize