Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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