Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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