i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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