If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
