have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
