super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize