This girl is more easily done than said...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
