Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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