can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I deserve this hangover.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
