If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
