ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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